During the pandemic an opportunity to join a Writing Mastermind presented itself. It made me sweat.
For years I’d carried deep rooted fears of not being a good enough writer.
Studies, School , Degree, Homeopathy, all continued to buy into the story that my putting pen to paper wasn’t great. I felt inadequate, and that my ‘background’ – Caribbean, working class, slow at reading, little interest in reading books, hadn’t served me well. And worst still, I’d grown to believe it.
On the other hand, I excelled in all things practical. I had an ‘on-the-job’ skill that allowed for me to shine; Teaching, Training, Creating, Directing Shows, MC-ing, Speaking Events, Coaching… If I was in the presence of people and able to engage and communicate freely, there was no stopping me.
So when Nicola Humber tagged me in a message about a Writing Mastermind, I felt a jolt within. Fear started to rise and all the old stuff started to resurface. I could feel myself shaking at the thought of me daring to join a writing group. Could I? Dare I? My response to a simple writing invitation really surprised me and I knew it was time to do something about it.
So with heart palpitating, nausea building, panic rising, I joined the Unbound Writing Mastermind. And I have never looked back.
Susan Jeffers writes, ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’ and I am SO glad that I did. Joining the Unbound group of women and being guided by the magical Nicola has been one of the most life-changing moments ever. The imperfectly perfect remedy to my healing, my souls healing, the transformation of such deep writing wounds.
Here in the Unbound space, no rules rule. There is no right or wrong, there is simply what is yours. Your truth, your way, your unique creative expression, your self-trust, your daring to believe.
And today here I am, where I get goose bumps and feel so much joyful energy, grabbing pen and paper at every opportunity to create on that blank page. This is huge and has released the trappings and shackles I have carried for decades.
If only I knew then what I know now. It wasn’t that I was unable to ‘write’ it was that the circumstances and rules clipped my wings and didn’t allow for the freedom of self-expression that serves me.
I am an incredibly creative individual, with an innovative way of seeing and interpreting things. When someone tells me there is only one way, I start to freak out.
Place rules before I can begin to flap my wings and my brain freezes, my confidence wains, and I retreat. Fuzzy thinking ensues and the rest is history.
I think this is linked to me being locked into early year fears around failure and wanting outside approval, but that’s another story.
Today, I am celebrating. I am skipping and dancing and exhaling through the joy of writing my book. Yes. Pearl Jordan is to be an author. Pearl is a writer. Would you ‘Adam and Eve it’ Believe it? Woo hoo!
I am in the process of pulling together my affectionately called ‘Book-Baby’. She is soon to be born, a transformational book full of personal stories, poetry, one liners, reflections and much more. She is certainly not dancing to anyone else’s tune. She surprises me all the time and we work so well together providing I allow her, her freedom, to show up however she chooses. No rules, rule.
Points for your reflection…
What old stories are you hanging onto?
What would it take for you to let go?
Dare you feel the fear and do it anyway?
What is your unique rhythm, your way of showing up?
Are you ready to dance your dance your way?
If your creative expression was to take a leap of faith, where would you land?
Go on. Jump to the beat of your own drum!